Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
