I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
