Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
