he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Nicole vs. Life
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
