ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
