i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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