ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
