super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
