I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
