"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
