Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
