i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
