I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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