Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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