proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
