What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
