I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
