this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
