i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
