it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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