Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
