how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
