I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
