I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
