There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Randomize
