I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
