I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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