well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
