if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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