So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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