Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
