we have pet lesbian snakes
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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