Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize