.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found puke in my bra..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
