It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
