i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
