its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My pussy is not your playground.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
