Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
