One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize