There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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