how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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