Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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