Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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