I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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