FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
