A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
