i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I want to be your penis for a week.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
