I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
