when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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