idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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