Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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