I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
