It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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