I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
