we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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