keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
