i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
NoShamevember. You game?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
