no, he came in my armpit
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
