He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
