You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
