Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
